So here it is... Have you ever been on a really really long hike up a steep hill, or been on a really long run that that seems like it will never end? Or, have you ever ran a marathon? I haven't done this, but from what I've heard it pushes you to the end of yourself and if you're normal, you never ever want to run one again. Well, that's how I feel spiritually.
It's that feeling when you get to the top of a really big hill and you can see the horizon and there are still many more hills to come, even bigger ones then the one you just came up. It feels daunting, impossible and you start to question why you ever stated out on this path. Once you continue on and regain strength on the downhill side seem ready for the next peak, but then once again when you reach the top you feel almost as exhausted as you felt at the top of the last peak.
I believe God at His word and I know at the end of the day that I'd rather be in His will following Him then be anywhere else. However, the cost to follow Him is great. So great right now that I feel that to follow Him is more then I can do. As I write this I have head knowledge of all the answers to this. As Romans says; "I can do all things though Him that strengthens me" but my heart still tells me that the sacrifices that I make for Christ everyday go against everything that I want to do.
I blindly continue to have faith and follow Christ but be forewarned my friends, the cost of following Christ is great....
