12 Days and counting

Today was a milestone--the last day of class. There will never be another first day or last day or anyday that I go to class, do homework, or read for school. From here there are only 12 more days left to do two presentations (30 min and 1 hour). One project demo (30 min) and finish-up two papers (30 pages--mostly written and 120 pages--all written just making final touches).

That's it!!! Then it's on to other things in life that I haven't been able to do for a while like hang out with my friends, travel, and sleep in on the weekends. There will be more stress in the future I'm sure, but if I can get through this, I think I can do just about anything I put my mind to.

This is a farewell to this blog. It has followed me through the journey of school for the last two years. Through the fun times and the stressful times. Through friends moving away and finding new friends. Now I leave it behind in pursuit of a more artistic or career related blog.

103 and still counting...

That's right, I've written 103 pages and still going strong!! Who would have ever thought I'd have that much to say??? Well, apparently I do.

On a very different note, 3 new CD's to celebrate getting over the 100page mile marker..This makes me very very happy :)

28 days till it's over.. That will be an odd feeling

The hills of life...

I was recently looking back at some earlier posts that I've written and came across one that talked about the hills and valleys of life. I think not matter where you are in life you are either on a hill or mountain, in a valley or creek or just coming from one of those places in life.

Currently I'm on my way to the top of a huge mountain. I can see the top, I know what the goal is, I have the end in sight, but oh... I think I might be at the steepest point of the hike right now. I look around for just a second and I see the past--all the things that God has brought me through. I see the future--all the places God still wants to take me. Most of all I see a consistent theme that has been in my life for the last 10 years....

Ok, I wont' keep you on the edge of your seat any longer! The theme I see isn't hills or valleys, but instead I see God, guiding my every step. Even though it felt like I had a blindfold on the whole time because it was really hard to see the next step, looking back I can see that God did that for my own good. If I would have seen the things ten year ago that He had in store for me today, there is no way that my little tiny brain could have handled it.

I would have never thought that God cared so much about His plan for my life that he had to guard me against myself! I know that may sound weird, but it's true.

I can't believe all the people God has put in my life over the last ten years. I remember a promise that I made to myself 10 years ago next month. The question was--what 3 things can you do for the next 12 months that will affect your life for the next 10years?

I'm looking at what I wrote down all those years ago..
1. go to school
2. build relationships with God and people
3. be financially responsible

I see my attempt over the last ten years to achieve success in all those areas. I see God's blessings because right now I have all those things in my life. I guess it's time to revisit the question again. I don't think number one will be on the list again (I guess you can never say never, and I am going to a talk on PhD schools next week) because there isn't much school left that I could do! Never the less, something to mull over for the next 3 months,

I know God has great things in store for me and I know that the next 10 years are going to be even greater and more challenging then the last ten years.

Think big my friends, God has far more for us then we can even imagine!

from fear to faith

It sounds so easy--instead of fear turn to faith in God's promises. In fact it should be that easy because I have nothing to fear because God is on my side and promises to never leave me. So that's my prayer for the day. When tempted to fear, instead have faith in God's true promises.

1 John 5:4
...for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.

more motivation...

So I'm still struggling with trying to motivate myself to keep going. Something things I read this morning are:

1. God wants good things for me (Jer. 29:11). Very basic and I've heard it a million times, but there is so much truth in it.
2. Satan doesn't want good things for me. He wants me to be discouraged and he wants to uproot any seeds of success and faith that I have.
3. In order to succeed in what God has given me, I must look to Him every moment and turn to Him when the enemy tries to discourage me (Heb 10:35). Speak truth and the enemy will flee.
4. The mind and my thought life is what I have to guard against the enemy by speaking God's promises because the mind is what the enemy attacks.

God has given me success in the small things, in the big things, in all different types of circumstances and through Him I will succeed!

thinking and writing for hours....

There is this part of getting a masters degree called a "thesis". As far as I can tell so far it's like the worst thing I've ever had to do. Yes, I've gotten experience in my classes on how to write it. Yes, I know how to do research at the library. Yes, I "know" about it, it's the "doing" it that is so hard.

It's so hard not because it isn't interesting or rewarding, but because it's so much information to think and write about.

I can't believe I ever thought a 20 page paper was big!! That's nothing compared to this. Take about five of those and add in real research and testing and yes, EVERYTHING must be reference d. This means that everything I state must already have been said by someone with credentials!

I think next time I start on a new adventure I should find out exactly what I'm getting myself into. If I ever do decided to get a PhD, I hope that I'll remember this moment in time and how much dedication and commitment research takes.

It's so hard to be motivated but I MUST finish this because I've come so far. From tailer park to having a great job and a lot of options. It would be so easy to get lazy now that life is comfortable, but that's the enemy--being comfortable-- because then one day in 10 years I'll wake up and have no options of bettering my life. This is the motivation I need.... finish now or else I'm not going to accomplish the things I want in life.

well.. back to thinking, testing, and writing...

and the answer is?.......

YES, this is the end of school... It turned out to be three forms to fill out instead of two, but other then that, I'm on my way to being done!!!

What is happening after that is still in the works. One thing I know for sure is that I'm going to Italy!!! That's right, I've waited to travel til I graduated and now I'm ready to book my trip for early Spring.

Other then that, there are a lot of open doors and possibilities. I guess I'll just wait to see where God leads me....

Is this the end of school??

I've decided I HAVE to be done with school. So of course I thought I should check with my advisor to see what I need to do to graduate. I figured he would tell me that I had to jump through a million hoops-- but quite the contrary. I just need to take one more class, write-up and present my thesis, and turn in two forms!!

So, I guess that means for once paperwork, busywork, and politics have been iliminated from the process for me to graduate with a master's degree. I have this very wierd feeling that some how this must be much harder then it sounds.

Well, I guess I'll find out tomorrow when I go to turn in my two forms :)

I want to shout with joy, but I'll wait till tomorrow....

long time...

Wow, it's been a really long time since I've posted.. Maybe that's because I've been so busy????
God is still great.... I have been so blessed that it's hard to take it all in sometimes. In response, I want to keep doing the things that He has called me to......

I know it's short.. but it's been a while so I'll start off with just a little bit of info!!

Old times....new times..

Sometimes I wonder what life is really about. You see the same people, have the same conversations and do the same things over and over again. God puts people there to make the day go by and give hope for tomorrow. The days come and the days go by. There seems to be no change towards the things that I want. I have no control over the things that happen around me. What to say, what to do? There seems to be a distance that didn't used to be there. Why?

I have a dream...

July 6, 2006

Visions Become Reality
LISTEN:
READ:

The parched ground shall become a pool . . . —Isaiah 35:7

About this cover
We always have a vision of something before it actually becomes real to us. When we realize that the vision is real, but is not yet real in us, Satan comes to us with his temptations, and we are inclined to say that there is no point in even trying to continue. Instead of the vision becoming real to us, we have entered into a valley of humiliation.

Life is not as idle ore,
But iron dug from central gloom,
And battered by the shocks of doom
To shape and use.

God gives us a vision, and then He takes us down to the valley to batter us into the shape of that vision. It is in the valley that so many of us give up and faint. Every God-given vision will become real if we will only have patience. Just think of the enormous amount of free time God has! He is never in a hurry. Yet we are always in such a frantic hurry. While still in the light of the glory of the vision, we go right out to do things, but the vision is not yet real in us. God has to take us into the valley and put us through fires and floods to batter us into shape, until we get to the point where He can trust us with the reality of the vision. Ever since God gave us the vision, He has been at work. He is getting us into the shape of the goal He has for us, and yet over and over again we try to escape from the Sculptor’s hand in an effort to batter ourselves into the shape of our own goal.

The vision that God gives is not some unattainable castle in the sky, but a vision of what God wants you to be down here. Allow the Potter to put you on His wheel and whirl you around as He desires. Then as surely as God is God, and you are you, you will turn out as an exact likeness of the vision. But don’t lose heart in the process. If you have ever had a vision from God, you may try as you will to be satisfied on a lower level, but God will never allow it.

This is Awesome... you have to listen to it!

I finally got a chance to hear Mike Yankoski who spoke at Grace back in April. I'm not sure if you know who he is, but he and a friend spent 5 months living on the streets and he talks about helping the homeless.

His message is like nothing I've every heard. His goal isn't to bash the church or show us how distant we are from people that aren't in our social group. Instead, he gives practicle examples of how to help and also the reality that Jesus said that the homeless will always be with us. Instead of trying to solve their problems, we are commanded to help those that WE come in contact with - not change their lives.

Ok, here's the link the audio is under "Mike Yankoski"....

Issues around me...

Ok, so after going to global commute (put on by the invisible children group) I've taken on a new outlook on being involved in issues that are going on around me. I used to think that getting involved with issues were a waste of time but after writing a letter to President Bush about Africa during the global commute I see it as my obligation to the next generation.


So, here's the ones that I've recently written letters about:

Save the internet: This is for real, I checked snopes.com before I filled out the information for the letter. This is big business trying to regulate the use of the internet. I wrote an email this morning, and already got a response from both our senators. Here's a link to information about it.

One: I know they are always sending out information, but it is my personal responsibility to help those in need when just 5 min. of my time can make a difference. Here's a quote about what's going on right now and a link to where to put your name on the list. "within the next 2 weeks the U.S. Senate is poised to slash billions of dollars from President Bush's plan to fight AIDS and poverty."

Ok, so now I've put my two cents worth out there. Don't feel obligated to get involved, I just wanted to let other's know what's going on....

PS. If you have any worthy cause that you think is important, feel free to reply to this post!!1

Bend - OR

Yep, that's right... I was with the fam last weekend and it was so much fun... Here's some pictures from the weekend....
pictures

School and Sleep

Ok, so I've just finally come to two realizations:
1. School = never getting enough sleep no matter what classes I seem to take
2. doing a project = eventually finishing a class no matter how little or much effort I put into the project (ok, maybe there is a point where if the project was really bad I would have to retake a class, but not my point!!)

what this means???
I've always wanted to turn in really nice work and have professors like what I do. This always ends up taking a lot of extra time and effort. Of course this makes homework take forever and takes away more hours from sleeping.

So the answer is: get more sleep by doing what is assigned and not trying to make every project an outstanding piece of work.

I'm sure most everyone else figured this out a long long time ago. But being the perfectionist that I am it's taken 6 years of college to figure it out!!

Here's to more sleep and passing grades!!